I am tired of surviving. Why does everything in my life have to be so fucking hard? I can’t take this. I am not strong. I hate this shitty life. I hate this syatem, where first you been abandoned mentally, mocked, fucked and let to survive on your own. Them when you finally get some real help. It ends just like that. You crushed into the brickwall and are left there alone. No one really cares. Everyone just hopes you keep your mouth shut and forget about all the shit you’ve been living and growing up. Hys. Don’t speak. Don’t feel. It’s all over. But my mind can’t understand it. It just can’t. I am still reliving my past By the smells, touches, triggers that remind my mind and body about those experiences. I hate this. I do. I don’t want to Remember. I don’t want to feel. I hate my life. I hate myself.
